The Real Thing

Aug 24th, 2014

THANK YOU to all the fans who packed The Barn at Arabian Knights Farms in Willowbrook on a sweltering Sunday afternoon August 24th, 2014 for RESISTANCE Pro’s THE REAL THING. While the weather less than desirable, the great action in the ring more than made up for it. Let’s get to the results!

After the national anthem, Creative Director BILLY CORGAN came to the ring to address Heavyweight Champion JOCEPHUS’ reprehensible attack on R-Pro co-owner JACQUES BARON last month. As CORGAN was elaborating, “The Ego” ROBERT ANTHONY’s music cut him off and out strolled the recent honeymooner. EGO attempted to dress down CORGAN and explain his reasoning for “The Way”, but CORGAN didn’t want to hear any of it. This lead directly to…

1) “The Ego” ROBERT ANTHONY making short work of fan favorite SCOTTY “The Kid” YOUNG. In what was basically a one-sided affair, ANTHONY halted any attempt at offense by YOUNG and made an example out of him. “The Ego” had returned to R-Pro a man focused and more volatile than ever.

2) In Femme Fatale 4 Way action, 2014 Samuel J. Thompson Memorial Tournament winner PALOMA STARR faced “Pocket Firecracker” ANGEL DUST, the ever deadly LUCY MENDEZ, and former Women’s Champ D’ARCY DIXON. Despite the intense heat inside the Barn, all four ladies tore in to each other putting friendship and any respect aside. Bodies flew everywhere inside the ring, with a highlight being a “Tower of Doom” that needed to be seen to be believed. With victory within her grasp, PALOMA STARR was ultimately thwarted by the Herculean strength of DIXON who emerged the winner.

3) With 3 minutes alone with WARDEN MYERS on the line, “Simply Sexy” SHAWN BLAZE had a tantalizing prize dangled in front of him. Unfortunately, 300lbs. of brute strength in the form of CHRISTOPHER stood in his way (not to mention “Purple Block” kingpin REMI on the outside of the ring). BLAZE fought valiantly and could almost touch victory with his fingers. But, as usual, “Purple Block” shenanigans got in his way and he was F5ed to defeat at the hands of the KOA behemoth.

4) In the most technical match of the night, “Chicago born, Calgary bred” JAKE O’NEILL took on the challenge of COBRA (and manager JUSTIN KING) in a 2-out-of-3 falls bout. After capturing a quick first fall, the crowd was solidly behind O’NEILL as things quickly escalated between the two men. COBRA was able to get a quick second fall shortly thereafter tying the bout at one fall apiece. With his charge in danger of losing the deciding fall, KING came to his aid and helped him to victory. A great bout between two amazing athletes marred only by KING’s ever dangerous meddling.

5) With his career in RESISTANCE Pro on the line, COL. JESSE CORGAN (w/”No Apologies” MATT KNICKS and MISS PRIG) was battling – almost literally – for his life against “Big C” CHRIS CASTRO. Decked out in green track pants and one of his own t-shirts, COL. JESSE left his usual fatigues at home and came focused at the monumental task ahead of him. More of a fight than a wrestling bout, credit has to be given to CORGAN for not being afraid to do whatever it takes to save his job (and stable of talent). After some interference from his comrades, CORGAN eventually succumbed to CASTRO and saw his R-Pro contract ripped up in front of him by his brother BILLY.

6) In a match with more change in it than an IDOT tollbooth, BODY MAGIC (BRADY PIERCE & ERIC ST. VAUGHN) took on DA SOUL TOUCHAZ (ACID JAZ & WILLIE RICHARDSON), THE SLOBBERKNOCKERS (HARDCORE HARRY & BD SMOOTH), and MAD MAN PONDO and his “mystery partner” in a 4 Way elimination match to decide the number one contenders to the Tag Team titles (held by SUPEREGO). With nearly all of the participants in the ring, the audience (and the opposition) awaited the reveal of PONDO’s partner who turned out to be none other than “Lonesome” JAY BRADLEY! All 8 men battled in – and around – the ring, bringing the crowd to their feet. It came down to TOUCHAZ and PONDO/BRADLEY as the final 2 teams left. In a true stunner, the long standing tandem of TOUCHAZ fell to the makeshift team of PONDO and BRADLEY. While celebrating their victory in the ring, BRADLEY said he needed a “real” partner to make a tag team work and asked “Uncle Billy” for their earned shot against SUPEREGO as soon as possible!

7) Finally bringing the “crazy”, CRAZY MARY DOBSON brought the fight to Women’s Champ MICKIE “Moose” KNUCKLES in her well-earned shot at her title. Accepting slaps, chops, punches, and more with a sadistic laugh, KNUCKLES witnessed a side of DOBSON yet unseen in R-Pro. Seemingly thriving on the punishment doled out by the Champ, DOBSON was arguably one moonsault away from becoming the youngest Champion in R-Pro history. Using her experience to her advantage, KNUCKLES was able to grab DOBSON while she was perched on the top turnbuckle and suplex her from the top, thus earning a victory and retaining her title. While regaining her composure after that physically draining bout, KNUCKLES was attacked by D’ARCY DIXON who came thru the crowd and beat the Champ with her own title belt. DIXON was so vicious that R-Pro owners THE BARON BROTHERS stormed the ring to assist the officials in breaking up the melee. Truly a vicious and shocking new side of DIXON fans did not expect – neither did the Women’s Champion.

8) In the biggest match of his tenure thus far in RESISTANCE Pro, “Special Dark” SUGE D faced Heavyweight Champion JOCEPHUS (w/EVE) with the biggest prize in the business on the line. Never one to back down from a challenge – SUGE brought all of his “chocolatey goodness” to the fight and taught the Champion – and the live crowd – that he is more determined than ever. Catching the Champion off-guard, things looked great for the challenger for quite some time. But as all things must pass, “The Way” was too much for even SUGE to overcome and he became another successful defense for the reigning Champion. Following his victory, JOCEPHUS brought EVE and EGO in to the ring to “test their faith” and acceptance of “The Way”…by lashing both of them multiple times with a Singapore cane! With bleeding welts on their backs, his followers embraced him, proving their devotion to the self-professed “messiah” of R-Pro to be stronger than ever.